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''[Open at Reininger's. Leni is at the register and offering a pair of gloves to Scoots.]''

'''Leni:''' "OMGosh, I'm thinking these gloves would look super chic on you, Scoots."

'''Scoots:''' ''[tries the gloves on]'' "Oh, these are too tight! My fingers can't breathe!"

'''Cheryl:''' ''[approaches the register.]'' "Excuse me, darling. I'm going line-dancing tonight, and I need to know which of those britches are best for boot-scooting!"

'''Leni:''' "Sorry, Cheryl, but when there's a line, you have to wait your turn."

'''Cheryl:''' ''[hands Leni the britches.]'' "Ooh, aren't I a rude goose. Y'all got a rhinestone vest section?"

'''Leni:''' "Over behind the chaps!" ''[she turns back to Scoots and folds the britches.]'' "So, how are we feeling about the gloves? They're snug in all the right places."

'''Scoots:''' "Hmmm... I don't know..."

'''Tyler:''' ''[passing by]'' "Sweet ride. Sweeter gloves."

''[Scoots's shades break.]''

'''Scoots:''' "Here's a tip for a job well done!"


''[She hands Leni money and speeds off. Leni pushes a button on the register.]''

'''Ms. Carmichael:''' "Leni, can I see you in the back?"

'''Leni:''' "Sure. But first, can I interest you in a new floral fanny pack? [realizes] Oh, sorry, Ms. C. I can't turn it off!"

[Leni and Ms. Carmichael walk passed me on a chair, trying to reach for a pair of flip flops.]

Me: [sees Leni] Oh, there's Leni. Maybe when she comes back, she can help me get these... w-w-WHOA!

[I fall off the chair and landed with a heavy thud, making some shoeboxes fall on me.]

Me: ...flip flops.

''[In the back, Fiona and Miguel are waiting with a "CONGRATS!" cake.]''

'''Leni:''' "Yay, cake! Is it my birthday?"

'''Ms. Carmichael:''' "You, Leni Loud, are Reininger's Employee of the Month!" ''[shows a plaque with said award.]''

'''Leni:''' "Eee! It's my birthday and I'm Employee of the Month!"

'''Miguel:''' "It's just the second one, Len."

'''Ms. Carmichael:''' "Remember when you first started? Oh! We had a few bumps in the road."

''[Flashback to Leni's first day on the job. She's talking to a man who has picked out a yellow sweater.]''

'''Leni:''' "OMGosh. I cannot let you buy that, sir."

'''Male Shopper:''' "Oh, thanks for your opinion, but I-"

'''Leni:''' "It's so not your color."

''[The male shopper returns the sweater to Leni. Back to the present.]''

'''Ms. Carmichael:''' "So here's to you, Leni." ''[Leni takes the cake]'' "We are so proud of how far you've come."

'''Leni:''' "Thank you! But the break room isn't that far from the register."

''[She takes a bite of the cake as Ms. Carmichael facepalms.]''

''[Later, Leni is waiting outside Reininger's with me.]''

Me: Thanks for getting these flip flops for me, and for inviting me to your house.

Leni: You're welcome, Cris. I'd do anything for a friend like you.

[Then Rita pulls up in Vanzilla.]

'''Rita:''' "Hi, sweetie! Hi, Cris!" ''[picks up Leni and me and drives off.]'' "How was work?"

'''Leni:''' ''[Elated]'' "Amazing! I'm Employee of the Month!"

'''Rita:''' "Can't say I'm surprised. You did sell Dad those scarves and now he feels so hip."

''[Flashback to when Leni sold her dad the scarves.]''

'''Lynn Sr.:''' "I didn't think I was a scarf guy, but this just goes with everything!"

''[Back to the present.]''

Me: And she helped me get a new pair of flip flops. They're so pretty.

'''Rita:''' "Wow, I'm proud of you, Leni. You've really grown up! Speaking of which, how would you feel about being in charge while Dad and I go away for the night?"

'''Leni:''' "Hmmm... I would feel... scared? Did I get the answer right?"

'''Rita:''' "Honey, no, we're asking you to be in charge. Dad's catering the Renaissance fair, and I need to help him run the mutton station."

'''Leni:''' "You really think I can handle it?"

'''Rita:''' "I do. Now that Lori's at college, you're the oldest in the house, and I think you're ready to step up."

''[Leni whimpers and sulks, then I pat her shoulder.]''

Rita: "You'll be fine. Just trust your instincts."

Me: If you like, I can help, too. I've been in charge at my house many times.

Leni: Thanks, Cris.

''[The Loud House. The parents, wearing Renaissance garb with Lily in a knight's helmet, prepare to leave.]''

'''Lynn Sr.:''' ''[in a British accent.]'' "Fare thee well, young maiden. We are setting forth for the Renaissance fair." ''[grabs a drumstick and "knights" Leni with it.]'' "Know that we are proud of thy newfound responsibility."

'''Leni:''' "I don't know what that means, but thank you!"

'''Rita:''' "I think what your dad means is you're gonna do great. Please don't let the house burn down."

''[As soon as Lynn Sr. closes the door, Leni and I hears her siblings screaming in the kitchen.]''

Me: Uh-oh, looks like there's fighting in the kitchen.

'''Leni:''' "Don't worry, Cris. I got this. Just one night. Oldest sibling."

''[We walk into the kitchen and finds Lola and Lynn fighting.]''

'''Lola:''' "No, let it go- let it!"

'''Leni:''' "What's going on, guys?"

'''Lynn:''' "Lola's trying to take my money!"

'''Lola:''' "It's ''my'' money! ''I'' spotted it!"

'''Lynn:''' "''I'' was the one who fished it out of the sewer!"

''[Lola lunges at Lynn, and the fight resumes.]''

'''Leni:''' "Come on! Stop fighting! Please?"

''[Lola and Lynn briefly pause before resuming their fight.]''

Me: That's not how you stop a fight. Try this.

[I run up to the fight cloud and was about to grab the two siblings. Until I get kicked in the stomach and went out the kitchen.]

Leni: Thanks, Cris, but I rather not get hurt!

[I groan in pain, then Leni smells something disgusting and gags.]''

Leni: "Ugh, ew!"

''[The smell is revealed to be coming from Lana.]''

'''Lana:''' ''[Relaxed]'' "Yep, that's me. I just got sprayed by a skunk. He wasn't down for it at first, but I talked him into it."

'''Lucy:''' ''[holding something]'' "Leni, could you help me make room for this?"

'''Leni:''' "Sure! Is that lime jelly?"

'''Lucy:''' "No. It's a spleen."

[She puts the spleen in the fridge.]

Me: [enters the kitchen] Did the fighting stop? [holds my nose] And what stinks?!

Leni: [hesitates] Uh, uh...

[Leni looks around and sees Lola and Lynn still fighting and Lana eating from the cookie jar. She has trouble breathing and her eyes dilate. She yelps and freezes.]

Lucy: "Leni? Hello?"

''[Lola and Lynn stop their fighting. Lola snaps her fingers in front of Leni, but nothing works.]''

Lola: Look at her. She's like a statue.

Me: Ooh, I know what's loud and obnoxious that'll wake her. [I play a ringtone on my phone, but Leni still won't move] Well, that's all I got.

'''Lola:''' "Yep, she is officially in over her head. I mean, Lori would have handled all of this in two seconds flat! Poor thing."

'''Leni:''' ''[Breaks out of her daze and realizes something.]'' "Lori! That's it!" ''[dashes off]''

Me: Wait, why get help from Lori? What about me?

''[At Fairway, Lori swings her golf club when her cell phone rings, throwing her off balance and sending her into the sand pit. Upon crashing, she picks up the phone.]''

'''Leni:''' "''Lori, help! Mom and Dad are gone and I'm in charge and I don't know how to do, like, anything!''"

'''Lori:''' "Sorry, Leni, but I'm at practice. Can I call you back?"

'''Leni:''' "''No, please, Lori! Just help me out this one time, and I'll never call you ever again, I promise!''"

'''Lori:''' "Well, that's a little extreme. Just tell me what's going on."

''[Back at the Loud House, Lola and Lynn are still fighting over the banknote. Leni approaches.]''

'''Leni:''' ''[Firmly]'' "OK, guys. You're gonna split the money and that's final." ''[cuts the money in half with scissors.]''

'''Lola:''' ''[furious]'' "That's not how money works!"

''[Leni carries Lana off for a bath and splashes tomato juice on her.]''

'''Leni:''' "Tomato juice will take care of that smell."

''[Lana grunts in anger. The skunk that sprayed Lana appears. Leni becomes infuriated and points him to the door.]''

Leni: "No! Get away from my sister!"

''[The skunk scurries off.]''<br>

''[In the living room, Leni collapses onto the sofa.]''

'''Leni:''' "That was, like, exhausting. Can we all go to sleep now?"

'''Lucy:''' "It's 4:30."

[Leni groans]

'''Luna:''' ''[from upstairs]'' "Dude, Luan turned our room into a comedy club, and she kicked me out because I wouldn't pay the two-lemonade minimum! Little help?"

''[The front door opens. Tyler appears carrying Scoots around his arm, taking her upstairs.]''

'''Scoots:''' "Me and my boo are here for the early show."

Me: Ooh, I know how we can fix that! [leans on Luna] We throw a stink bomb in there, and Luan would be so stinky that she'll have to shut down her club!

[Luna steps back, making me lose my balance and fall on the stairs.]

Luna: Sorry, dude. I can't risk having my room smell bad. Especially after Lana let a skunk in the house.

Me: Fine, let's just see what's going on.

''[Leni, Lucy, Luna, and I peek into Luna and Luan's room. Luan is performing to Scoots, Tyler, Flip, and Benny.]''

'''Luan:''' ''[clears throat and speaks on microphone]'' "What did Germany say to Italy first thing in the morning? ''Europe'' early!" ''[laughs]'' "Get it?"

''[Flip and Benny laugh.]''

'''Flip:''' "Love a good geography gag!"

'''Luan:''' "Aw, thank you, folks! Now don't forget to tip your server!"

''[The camera pans down to reveal Charles is the server. He is carrying glasses of juice on a tray above his head. Leni hyperventilates and once again freezes.]''

Me: Not again.

'''Lucy:''' "I think you're gonna need this." ''[hands over Leni's phone]''

''[At Fairway, Lori is reading in the library when her phone rings again, disturbing everyone else.]''

'''Lori:''' "Sorry, it's my sister." ''[picks up]'' "Hi, Leni. What's up?"

'''Leni:''' "''Luan's running a comedy club out of her room!''"

'''Lori:''' "Again?!" ''[The students shush her.]'' "Ooh, sorry." ''[crouches under her desk, whispers.]'' "OK, here's what you do."

''[Back at the Loud House, Luan resumes her comedy club.]''

'''Luan:''' ''[On microphone]'' "What do you call a chicken mixed with a-"

''[Leni bursts in wearing a firefighter's outfit.]''

'''Leni:''' ''[Demanding]'' "Folks, we've gotta shut this place down." ''[tries reading something from a piece of paper]'' "We are over ca... pa... huh?"

'''Luna:''' ''[sneaks up and whispers]'' "Capacity."

'''Leni:''' "Capacity!"

''[All the attendants leave.]''

'''Flip:''' "Well, if the fire department's here, I guess that's legit."

'''Leni:''' ''[as Scoots clings onto Tyler.]'' "Scoots, where's your scooter?"

'''Scoots:''' "I upgraded." ''[leaves]''

'''Luna:''' "Thanks for the assist, dude!"

'''Leni:''' ''[sighs]'' "''Now'' can I be done?"

Me: Come on, Leni. There's still more to do.

'''Lincoln:''' ''[Enters the scene with Clyde]'' "Hey Leni, is it cool if Clyde and I watch ''The Disemboweling''?"

'''Lucy:''' "Isn't that supposed to be the scariest movie of all time?"

'''Lincoln:''' ''[Scoffs]'' "What? It's a comedy! So Leni, can we?" ''[Leni hyperventilates and freezes up yet again.]'' "Leni? I'll take that as a yes."

'''Clyde:''' "Yes!"

''[Lincoln rushes downstairs with Clyde.]''

Me: But Lincoln, you don't wanna watch that movie! You'll have nightmares!

''[Lori is attending a lecture at Fairway. Her professor is holding a book.]''

'''Professor:''' "With that terrible tee shot, a redo was requested, and thus was created: The Mulligan." ''[Lori's phone rings again. He becomes startled and drops his book.]'' "Oh, my word!"

'''Lori:''' "Sorry." ''[picks up and whispers.]'' "Leni, I can't talk. I'm in class."

'''Leni:''' "''Lori, please!''"

'''Lori:''' "You've got this!" ''[The professor extends a hand, demanding her phone.]'' "Huh?" ''[Lori reluctantly hands her phone over.]'' "Fine. But if I get a call from someone named Boo-Boo Bear, I'm gonna need that back."

''[The professor glares and grunts at her.]''

''[Back at the Loud House, Leni's call hangs up. The chaos goes out of control.]''

'''Luna:''' ''[from upstairs]'' "Seriously, dude! Enough of your jokes!"

'''Luan:''' ''[from upstairs]'' "No, people like the jokes!"

''[Charles and Cliff wrestle over a bone and knock over a few objects.]''

'''Lincoln:''' ''[rushing to the couch with popcorn.]'' "Hey Clyde, I got the popcorn!"

''[Leni covers her ears.]''

'''Luna:''' ''[from upstairs]'' "My guitar, dude!"

Me: [rushes downstairs] Leni, what are you gonna... [trips on a coatrack] do?

''[Leni rushes outside. She hyperventilates and screams in anger. The camera pans to the right, revealing Mr. Grouse sat on his lawnmower calling from next door.]''

'''Mr. Grouse:''' "What in the name of Bing Crosby is going on in that house?!"

''[The chaotic noises continue.]''

'''Leni:''' ''[Calling]'' "Mr. Grouse! I'm so sorry for all the noise! Are we bothering you?"

'''Mr. Grouse:''' "Darn tootin' you were!" ''[Rummages in his lawnmower and picks up some red flowers hanging loose with some soil.]'' "I was so distracted I mowed all over my begonias!" ''[Chucks the flowers behind him and clenches his fist in anger]'' "Eight months down the drain."

'''Leni:''' ''[Calling]'' "Sorry! We'll keep it down! There's just a lot going on over here--"

'''Lincoln:''' ''[Comes outside with Clyde - trying to control his feelings - and interrupts her.]'' "Leni, help! The Wi-Fi's down and the movie went out right at the scariest- I mean, funniest part!"

Me: [approaches Lincoln] Come on, Lincoln! You don't have to continue watching that movie.

'''Clyde:''' "I'm fine if you wanna switch gears. We could read or do a word jumble-"

'''Lincoln:''' ''[Pleadingly]'' "Can you help us? Please?"

'''Leni:''' "Lincoln, I have no idea how to-"

''[Eyes turn to Mr. Grouse.]''

'''Mr. Grouse:''' "Up-bup-bup." ''[He walks up to them]'' "Do a hard reset of the router by updating the LAN configuration. Once an IT guy, always an IT guy!"

''[Leni squeals. Later, Mr. Grouse resets the router. It beeps. The movie ''The Disemboweler'' comes back on.]''

'''The Disemboweler:''' ''[on the TV]'' "What am I going to do with all these intestines?" ''[laughs]''

'''Lynn:''' ''[off-screen]'' "Bring it in, Tony!"

''[A moving truck has arrived and about to unload its cargo. Leni and I rush into the dining room, but is sprayed with sand, forcing her to flinch.]''

'''Leni:''' "Huh?!"

''[Lynn appears in bare feet practicing volleyball on the sand - which is spread all over the floor.]''

'''Lynn:''' "What?" ''[Continues playing]'' "I needed a little sand to practice my beach volleyball."

Me: Yeah, I don't know how to deal with that.

''[Mr. Grouse walks to us.]''

'''Leni:''' "Mr. Grouse, what do I do?"

'''Mr. Grouse:''' ''[Annoyed]'' "How the heck do ''I'' know? Figure it out yourself!"

'''Leni:''' "I can't! I'm no good at this." ''[Pleads]'' "Please? Come on! You remember when I styled you for the Veterans' Day parade?" ''[She shows an image of Mr. Grouse dressed up for a Veterans' Day parade on her phone.]''

'''Mr. Grouse:''' "Eh, the Ascot did add a touch of class."

''[Lynn is still practicing volleyball when she hears an engine turning over. She stops, landing the ball on her head. Mr. Grouse gets in a tractor and drives her and the sand out of the dining room.]''

'''Leni:''' "Thanks, Mr. Grouse! You're a lifesaver!" ''[She screams as an explosion suddenly happens behind her.]'' "Huh?"

Me: I'm guessing that's Lisa.

''[We walk over to the kitchen and noticed a singed Lisa.]''

'''Leni:''' "What happened?!"

'''Lisa:''' "Apologies, sibling. I created a new fruit punch that won't leave stains. Apparently, it is also quite combustible." ''[The punch drips, burning a hole in the kitchen. She gasps.]'' "You see? No stains!"

''[Rita and Lynn Sr., wearing smart clothes, appear in a thought bubble above Leni's head.]''

'''Rita Hallucination:''' "Please don't let the house burn down."

'''Lynn Sr. Hallucination:''' "You think I can pull off a pinky ring, too?" ''[The thought bubble closes, but the Lynn Sr. hallucination's arm is caught.]'' "No, no, no, no, no, no!" ''[closes]''

Me: Just get Mr. Grouse. I'm not good at this either.

'''Leni:''' "Mr. Grouse, help!" ''[She runs out of the kitchen, but stops at the bottom of the stairway.]''

'''Mr. Grouse:''' "Sorry, time for my nap!"

'''Leni:''' ''[Briefly trembles]'' "This is an emergency! You can't just go home and take a nap!"

'''Mr. Grouse:''' ''[On the sofa]'' "Who said anything about going home?"

''[He starts sleeping. Leni becomes startled as rock music plays from upstairs. Luan appears at the top of the stairway.]''

'''Luan:''' ''[Annoyed]'' "Leni, Luna's turned my comedy club into a rock club! Do something!"

'''Lucy:''' ''[joins Luan upstairs]'' "Leni, do you know how to get blood- I mean, ketchup off the ceiling?"

''[Luan is disturbed by the blood]''

'''Lincoln:''' ''[He and Clyde are still watching the movie with terrified expressions.]'' "Leni, turn the movie off!"

'''Lana:''' ''[holding the skunk]'' "What do you mean you're empty?" ''[the skunk runs off, causing her to fall over.]'' "Wait, wait! Don't go!"

''[The skunk passes Lisa - still singed - and causes her to spill her fruit punch underneath Mr. Grouse's seat. It corrodes causing the seat to fall down a hole.]''

'''Lisa:''' "Aw, fiddlesticks!"

''[The chaotic screaming continues. Leni's left eye twitches. With dramatic music also playing, she screams in despair and hurries into the dining room.]

Me: Leni! [fed up] Oh, that's it! You need help, I'll help! [I get a few things] Here's some wipes to clean your hands! [tosses a pack of wipes to Lucy] Interrupt Luna's rock club with whoopee cushions! [tosses whoopee cushions to Luan, whispers to myself] Sorry, Luna. [out loud] And Lincoln and Clyde. [turns the TV off] How about a hug to feel better?

[The boys hug me]

Lincoln: Thanks, Cris. But we still can't stop thinking about the scariest part of the movie.

Me: I warned you. [sighs] I wish Leni can be just like Lori and help out.

[In the dining room, just after she sits down, her phone rings, and she picks up.]''

'''Leni:''' "Miguel? Fiona?"

''[Split-screen between Leni and her friends; Miguel and Fiona are revealed to be at the spa.]''

'''Miguel:''' "Hey, Leni-boo, we're having self-care day! Wanna come with?"

'''Leni:''' ''[Stressed]'' "Guys, I can't. I'm in charge at home and everybody needs something and I have no idea how to do anything and I'm totally hopeless!"

'''Fiona:''' "Hopeless? Um, I'm sorry, but this does ''not'' sound like the Leni Loud we know and love."

'''Miguel:''' "Yeah, we've seen you kill it at work all the time. You're a total boss!"

'''Fiona:''' "Just tap into that confidence at home."

'''Miguel:''' "All you need to do is think of your family as customers that don't pay."

'''Leni:''' "OMGosh, thanks, guys. I know what to do now. You're both, like, geniuses. Hmph!"

''[She hangs up and whistle calls. The children gather around and listen to Leni.]''

Leni: "Attention shoppers—I mean, siblings. Here's the deal: We're gonna wait in line and everyone's gonna get their turn, OK?"

Me: You heard the boss! Line up!

''[The siblings get in line, Lisa first.]''

Leni: "So how can I help you today, ma'am?"

'''Lisa:''' "Well, my concoction is currently corroding the living room floor."

'''Leni:''' "Hmm... We have some lovely water that would do a great job of stopping that burn." ''[Leni grabs a hose and sprays the fire around the hole.]'' "Next!"

'''Lincoln:''' ''[in unison]'' "Our movie was just... way too scary!"

'''Clyde:''' ''[in unison]'' "I can't stop thinking about what she just..."

Me: Can you please help them, Leni? They'll have nightmares if they keep thinking about the movie.

'''Leni:''' "Let's see if we can get you folks into something a ''little'' less terrifying." ''[Later, they are all sat on the couch while she reads a book to Lincoln and Clyde.]'' "And the caterpillar turned into a beautiful butterfly!"

'''Clyde:''' ''[as Lincoln sighs]'' "Ah, that hits the spot."

'''Leni:''' "Next!"

''[In the next scene, Leni slaps a "CLOSED" sign over Luna and Luan's room.

Me: Sorry.

[Later, she hands Lola and Lynn $5 banknotes to "split" their money.]''

'''Leni:''' "Five for you and five for you makes ten. Thanks for coming in today!"

'''Lola:''' "Um, we live here."

Me: [enters the kitchen] Good news. I got the "ketchup" off the ceiling. Bad news. I can't find the skunk.

''[The skunk appears behind the bin and whimpers.]''

'''Leni:''' ''[Demanding]'' "Sir, do ''not'' make me call security!" ''[The skunk leaves the front door and goes outside.]'' "And we are closed!" ''[almost closes the door on her parents and Lily, who have come back. She becomes surprised.]'' "Dad? I thought you were coming back tomorrow."

'''Lynn Sr.:''' ''[British accent]'' "Len, no one bothered to tell me that the Renaissance fair was vegan and I was only packing meat. So we saddled up our steed-"

'''Rita:''' ''[translating for her husband]'' "Vanzilla."

'''Lynn Sr.:''' "-and set out for our castle."

'''Rita:''' "The house. Which looks great, Leni! There's only one hole in the floor! I knew no job would be too big for my employee of the month."

'''Leni:''' "Aw, thanks, Mom!" ''[Excitedly]'' "Do I get more cake?"

'''Lynn Sr.:''' "How about a half-eaten mutton leg?"

''[Leni squeals and prepares to take a bite, but are interrupted by Mr. Grouse, calling from the hole.]''

'''Mr. Grouse:''' ''[extending his hand from the hole.]'' "Mmm, mutton leg! What? Napping makes me hungry." ''[Leni hands over the mutton leg and he starts eating.]'' "That's a good one."

''[Leni shrugs her shoulders.]''

Me: [walking by, talking on the phone] Yes, Mom. Things are going great at the Loud House. Leni and I helped the siblings, we did a little clean up, and stopped all the chaos. It was one hard after... [falls down the hole] NOOOOOOON!!! [lands with a thud as Leni cringes] I'm okay! I landed on Mr. Grouse!

Mr: Grouse: And my mutton leg!

THE END

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